Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Donkey Kong, Pepsi Free and The Glorious Lack of Social Networking


Admit it...you have no idea what time it is.

No, really...you don't wear a watch and you don't really care to.
All that's on your mind is simply figuring out where you're going to find that next quarter to plunk into the Donkey Kong machine.

Admit it...


You can't stand the fact that a very large ape has stolen your girlfriend. I mean, who would be okay with that! Jump some barrels here? Sure. Hammer some barrels there? Why not! And all for the sake of saving a damsel in distress.

What if she wasn't in distress though?

What if she really loved the ape and you (as the player) are just interfering in their love life? Maybe you are the ex-husband of the damsel, and your quest is to get her back so she can sign the divorce papers?

Who knows what the storyline is behind Mario, the ape, and the damsel in distress.

Why is it relevant?
It isn't.
The only thing that's really relevant is that you found some bottles or cans in the neighborhood and turned them in for the change to make a few good memories that you'll carry forever.

Make sense?

I remember when you could buy a Pepsi Free for around $.50/can. I also remember when you could get a Rocky Road candy bar for a quarter too. Imagine having a soda, a candy bar and one round of Donkey Kong, and only paying a buck. WOW!

C'mon, where's your sense of memory? Video games and tasty beverages were what brought out the innocence of childhood. Well, okay, maybe cruisin' the black-lit oval at Skate World while Beat It blared over the cheap and muffled stereo system was a close second. I think that today's youth just doesn't appreciate how cool we had it. We actually socialized with each other...in person. We didn't text each other when we wanted to break up. We didn't meet people across the country on the computer, then take a plane ride to meet them. We had what was in front of us. We had to put up with the same girls and guys that we went to school with year after year.

But it was fun wasn't it?

I'm sure you've heard by now that the King of Pop has died. His poor little heart gave way and now he's devoid of the stress that this cruel world thrust upon him. He didn't get to partake in drinking pop and roaming the 'hood for recyclables. Nope. He was too busy hanging with rats named Ben and taking lashes from his pops. While it's sad, because it seems as if my generational icons are dropping off like body parts in a leper colony today, I have become somewhat numb to it. I'll write more about that at another time, but it's a sign of the times for us children of the 70's and 80's. This guy was bigger than life! Any bets on which Michael they'll put on the postage stamp? White Michael or black Michael? Little Michael or masked Michael?

I was sitting at lunch when I got the text. Okay, we all want to be in the know, but remember when people used to die and you had to wait days to find out how, when, why, etc? Due to mass technology, Farah had her run for, oh, about 8 hours today. MJ totally trumped her. I'm sure there is also an unscrupulous governor of South Carolina that's sighing a breath of relief now that his story of a Venezualan tryst has been pushed to page 10. That's the power of technology. Twitter is jammed to the point that their servers are probably about to melt. Rumors are going around that Jeff Goldblum also died today. Man! What a day of ups and downs that technology has brought us!

Sometimes you just want to retreat back to the days of old and remember when news wasn't plastered all over the place. I know I want to. I liked MJ back in the day. Who didn't? He was revolutionary, but I turned in my glove when he was linked to the child molestation allegations. Plus, that HIStory album really sucked! It's like OJ; you know he probably did it, but you want to believe deep down that he didn't. Remember the Bronco chase? Brought to you by technology...and your local sponsor!

Sometimes, we need to let go of technology, especially on days like today. We are whores though. We can't live without our iPhones and our Blackberries. Do I really want to watch them take the corpse out of the helicopter? How macabre is that? Damn you Larry King. Just show some pictures of Little Michael or something. Now I'm scarred, damnit! I'm switching it over to MTV!

My point: Get off the computer. Go hug your kids. Go take them out for a Canadian bacon/pineapple pizza and some root beer. Leave your phone at home. Get out and play some Donkey Kong.

You never know...a little Italian plumber in coveralls could be the answer for us all tonight.



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2 comments:

Tony Guagliardo said...

Ah, a great blog entry which had me warmly remembering that magical time prior to the Information Age but as the saying goes, you can't go home. The texts, the chats, the tweets...this is the world we live in now.

I'm sure there were many adults back in 80s who saw arcade games as the collapse of civilization as I'm sure twenty years from now someone will look back fondly on these "innocent" times.

Innocence and simpler times exist as they always have and while adults are the only ones who can appreciate these things, it's only a child who can experience them. That's the catch.

thatrichguy said...

I concur. Today, people use technology more for tools than for entertainment. Even though the iPhone can be considered a source of entertainment with all the silly little apps and what not, it's still a tool.
One of my good friends had the original arcade size Donkey Kong in his house when we were kids, along with Paperboy and Name That Tune. What a treat! Let's just say that going over there was like dying and going to heaven!