Cinco De Mayonnaise

Why does the American public think that the 5th of May is actually an American holiday? Because we just want another excuse to party, that's why. Do Mexicans celebrate "Quatro de Julio" in their country, complete with hamburger and hot dog kits from their local Superama? Perhaps they gorge themselves on Budweiser and ribs and blow their index fingers off with firecrackers?
Highly doubtful. (I've personally handled Mexican "dynamite" and let me tell you, it's weak!)

So why the big urge to go out and celebrate something that has little bearing on our country? I don't know, but I did tip my sombrero to my neighbors to the south by cooking up a meal that resembled some of Oaxaca's Finest: Turkey tacos, refried black beans, mexican rice, and the "piece de resistance," fried ice cream. No, I didn't make my own fried ice cream...it actually is a flavor that I found at the store. It amazingly tastes just like the real McCoy, or should I say, the real Martinez!

If that wasn't enough, I traded in my late night work of updating the conference displays on my site to watch one of the funniest movies ever made, The Three Amigos. Combine the food and the movie with a couple glasses of cheap boxed wine and you got yourself a Cinco de Mayo that even Ned Nederlander himself would be proud of. It's just too bad that we only have the movie on VHS...oh the headache! How did we ever survive back in the 80's with that wretched machine being our only source of rented entertainment?

Tracking!!! Tracking!!!!

Of course, with a movie that old, I've got it memorized. No kidding. I could probably go through it and quote every line. But that gets boring after a while, a futile exercise that makes you realize that you're probably never going to get that 2 hrs of your life back (or 90 minutes, as they made 'em back in the old days).
So was it a waste? Seeing Ned, Lucky and Dusty play the fools, only to end up being rewarded by justice in the end? Far from it.
For me, the supporting cast makes the movie one of the best Lorne Michaels films ever: Jefe, El Guapo, The German, The Bartender. They all play integral parts that keep the story ticking...like a "stopvotch." Besides, I'm convinced that the word "plethora" was brought into everyone's vocabulary and made popular in the American lexicon by that pinata conversation between Jefe and El Guapo.

Jefe: I have put many beautiful pinatas in the storeroom, each of them filled with little suprises.
El Guapo: Many pinatas?
Jefe: Oh yes, many!
El Guapo: Would you say I have a plethora of pinatas?
Jefe: A what?
El Guapo: A *plethora*.
Jefe: Oh yes, you have a plethora.
El Guapo: Jefe, what is a plethora?
Jefe: Why, El Guapo?
El Guapo: Well, you told me I have a plethora. And I just would like to know if you know what a plethora is. I would not like to think that a person would tell someone he has a plethora, and then find out that that person has *no idea* what it means to have a plethora.

Maybe that's what we have to be thankful about on the 5th of May....

....Now if I could only get that damn singing bush out of my head!